Red White and Blue

She awoke this morning with tears in her eyes. Some things just never get easier she thought in fact some things get harder. She knew it was time to get the children and grandchildren up and fed. They had come home for this day as they did every year. She could deal with birthdays and anniversaries alone, but even after all this time, she couldn’t deal with this day. They would have come this year anyway as she was to make a speech today and there was no way they would have missed that.

As she lay back with her eyes closed she could still here the shots. Bang! 7 shots rang out. Bang! Again 7 shots went out. And finally, Bang! the last 7 shots rang out. The bugler started to play Taps and she could see back in time when her beloved father was killed in the war to end all wars, World War I. He had left his wife to raise 4 children on her own and went off to serve his country. She still remembers her mama patting her back and saying “Now, now child. You should be proud of your Papa. He died for our Country.” She thought then she would have been prouder if he had stayed home with his family.

Her thoughts shifted to a new time and a new era. She was a young woman who was happily married with three children and one on the way. She thought nothing could take her happiness away. She was wrong. When her husband told her had enlisted to fight in the war, she remembers clearly screaming at him “Why, why would you be so stupid.” She remembers him talking about them bombing Pearl Harbor and she didn’t care. She only wanted him at home, let someone else fight. But he left anyway. Months later she again was hearing the guns go off. The bugler played as they folded up the flag and handed it to her. She remembers the Officer who gave her the flag thanking her for her husband’s service in keeping our country free. She held her head in tears and felt her husband’s life had been wasted.

She lays there today thinking how wrong she was then, but how was she to know what was to come in the future? She thinks about the sound of those rifles going off.; 7 soldiers holding those rifles, the rifles going off 3 times and Taps being played. She knew that she had heard that more times than anyone person should have to. She lost her son in the Korean War and one of her grandsons in the Vietnam War. She lost her great grandson in Desert storm. How much did one woman have to face.

Her whole life could still be in anger towards her Country for taking so many loved ones away. What was wrong with this Country that they had to send innocent men and now women into battles to fight for stuff that isn’t even important to us? How can they just take our loved ones away? How different things can be when you look at them from someone else’s perspective instead of by how you feel.

She remembers her son coming to her one warm summer day. She could tell that he wanted to talk to her so she did what she always had done when her children had needed to talk seriously with her. She put on a pot of tea and sat down at the table and raised one eyebrow as if to say “Alright. What’s going on?” Her son sat there and stared at her for a few moments and tears ran down his face. “Mama, I am so sorry. I love you so much and I know how you feel about wars….” She didn’t give him a chance to finish.”No,” she said, “NO! NO! NO!!” as she pounded her fist on the table. “ Oh God, Not you too, Son.” “Mama, please let me explain, please Mama.” He knew she was ready to listen when she clasped her hands together and she nodded towards him to continue.

“I know Mama that you lost your daddy and my dad and uncle to wars. I know that you don’t think that you should have to lose anyone else to a war. Mama just think for a minute, don’t you think other families have felt the same? This isn’t about what you might lose if I go to war; this is about what our Country could lose if we didn’t have soldiers to fight wars. We have so many freedoms, Mama, ones we take for granted everyday. We are free to marry who we want, live where we want. We are free to elect anyone we want to run our country and we are even free to publicly say anything we want about those that we have elected. We have freedom and choices that most people only ever dream about. We do this Mama because we have men and women willing to give up their lives if needed for us. We have those freedoms because of men like Grandpa, Dad, and Uncle John. Please don’t ask me not to be that kind of man. The blood that runs through my veins is not red Mama, its red, white and blue. I love my Country that much. “

She remembers that to this day. It is what kept her from falling apart when they came to her home to tell her that her son had died. A heroes’ death, they called it. She told them that everybody that serves our Country was hero no matter what. She remembers the day they buried him and for the first time she in her life she felt sadness for her loss, but the anger was gone and she feels a new emotion, she feels Proud. She wants to jump up and say “Look, Look at what my son did for you, but as she glances around at the people who have come, she realizes that many of their sons have given as much. She realizes that an army is not one soldier and she needed to be proud of everyone that has or was serving their Country. Our Country, she thought.

Vietnam War brought a different kind of lost to her and this time the anger came back. Not for losing her son but for the way that some of the American people were treating the soldiers when they returned home. She wanted to scream at them and tell them “leave them alone. It’s because of us they are willing to fight, willing to die. These soldiers make it possible for you to have the freedom to treat them this way.” How could they not be proud of the soldiers and love them as much as she did, and then she remembered, it was not so long ago that she only felt anger and hatred for a Country that would send their men to war.

The Gulf War took her grandson and at the funeral she felt proud to be in our Country such as ours. She had lost part of her family over the years to war but she lost them because they loved their country so much. She knew that no matter what, each and every one of them was her own private hero.

Two months ago, she buried another grandson; killed in Iraq, serving his Country. She can remember his young wife screaming “Why did he have to go? It’s not fair?’ She remembers hugging the young woman and told her He had to go because he loved his Country so much.”

She wipes her tears and checks the time. She needs to get moving and get ready. She is speaking at the Veteran’s Memorial Cemetery today . When everyone was ready they helped her with her walker to the car. They drove in silence to the park, her one son holding her hand as if to say, “ it’s alright Mama, its alright.”

When they got to the Cemetery, she smiled when she saw all of the people who had come out to celebrate Memorial Day together. She recognized some of the faces but in her heart she knew that it didn’t matter whether she knew them or not, they were family. A family who was only joined together because of a soldier somewhere. When it was her time to speak, some of herfamily helped her to the microphone.

Ladies and Gentlemen! Thank you for coming out here today, to not only pay tribute to the ones we have lost but to show our love and patriotism to all of our soldiers; past, present and future. I have lost someone I love to every war since the War to end all Wars. I know I am not alone in that. I know many of you have also lost loved ones to the wars. We can scream and holler about their shouldn’t be any wars, we can say that we are only going to war for this reason or that reason, we can cuss our president out for sending our soldiers to war, but we can do all that because of those soldiers. We have the freedoms we have today because of those unselfish people that love us and our Country enough to go to war to ensure we keep those freedoms. I know that sometimes I get angry too that we are once again in a war. Maybe we shouldn’t be there and maybe we should. But I do know one thing, whether at war or during peace time, we need to thank our Soldiers for their love of us and our Country. We need to thank them for all of their sacrifices so that we can live in this great Country. And we need to remember something else, for our soldiers, whether man or woman, they are willing to give up their lives for us. We mourn our losses, we grieve forever when they are gone, but we are proud that they died for what they believed in. Their blood is shed, but it runs not just red, but red, white and blue.

She steps away from the microphone exhausted. Her granddaughter takes her hand to help her find a seat and says , “Grandma you did too much. You shouldn’t wear yourself out.” She touches her granddaughters face and says “We can never do too much. We can never pay back to them for the sacrifices they made for us.”

Today is Memorial Day. Today is my time to once again take some time to grieve for Gary, my late husband, Sergeant during the Vietnam War, Today is my day to call My son to tell him how much I love him and am proud of him, US ARMY Sergeant, and today is the day I want to tell each and everyone of you who has served our country, is serving our country, or has family serving our Country. Thank You. Your sacrifices have not gone unnoticed. I love you and may God keep you all safe.